Farewell “Mother Dear” 

“If you want to know what you’re marrying, if you want to know what she’ll be like in twenty or thirty years, look at her mother.” When I heard those words, they rang true. They were offered by a friend and a spiritual mentor, Brother Beck. When I was a teenager four years earlier, he was my seminary teacher. Now, he was offering fatherly advice to a fatherless young man. 

It was 1979. I had been seeing a girl in recent weeks. When Brother Beck spoke the words, my mind went to her mother. My initial encounter with the woman had not been face-to-face, but interesting, nonetheless. 

At the end of our second date, I took Donna home. When I pulled up in front of the house, I turned off the engine and we sat in the dark and talked. We had only known each other for two days. I wanted to get to know her. But five minutes into the conversation, the front porch light began to flash on and off. I looked at Donna, questioning. She offered, “That’s my mom.” That was my introduction to Evelyn, and the abrupt end of a good date. 

In the ensuing weeks, I saw Donna more and more, and got better acquainted with her mother. In the process, I considered Brother Beck’s words. “If you want to know…, look at her mother.” What I saw in Evelyn was a bustling mother, mid 40’s, firm in her faith, anxiously engaged in good causes, devoted to her family. She was a doer, a hard worker, one who cared about others and put their needs above her own. I liked what I saw. 

As weeks passed, I came to the realization that I wanted to make Evelyn my mother-in-law. Oh sure, I knew her daughter would have a say in the matter, but as it turned out, it wasn’t a difficult sell. Donna was agreeable. It’s been 43 years since that fateful decision. With 20/20 hindsight, I can say that Brother Beck was right. His advice was sound. I thank him for it. 

How blessed I have been to count Evelyn as my mother-in-law. It took some time, but I grew to love her like my own mom. She made it easy to do. 

Evelyn, thank you for your love and support for the past 43 years. Thank you for blessing the life of my children. And above all, thank you for raising an exceptional young lady, one whom I’m bound to for eternity. 

“Mother Dear”, the ravages of Alzheimer’s are no longer. Finally, you are free of a decrepit mortal body. I look forward to walking and talking together again. Until we do, I bid adieu.